Zoolander 2 Thoughts
I won’t lie, I kind of had high hopes for Zoolander 2 but I never thought it’d be better than the first movie by a longshot. I feel like I’m one of the few who thinks Anchorman 2 is great so I was expecting Zoolander 2 to be on that level. Sadly I was not only underwhelmed & disappointed but I have to say it’s one of the worst movies I’ve seen in theaters. I still can’t fathom how this ended up being the catastrophe it turned out to be.
The one reason Zoolander 2 works is because of our love for its main characters Hansel & Derek. Other than that, the jokes are terrible, most of the jokes are references to the first movie, it lacks the clever stupidity of part one and is pure stupid. It’s ironic how Ben Stiller wrote the “You don’t go full retard” joke in Tropic Thunder and that’s the same mistake he made here. And I hate making snide remarks like that about Ben Stiller because I think he’s a really funny guy. Though as talented as an actor Justin Theroux is, I’m beginning to doubt his skills as a screenwriter. It’s hard to say where Zoolander went wrong.
I liked the recap in the beginning and the cameo death in the beginning but after that the film kind of falls apart once Hansel’s scene hits. It makes no sense and Hansel is in a relationship with a orgy & has gotten Kiefer Sutherland pregnant including everyone else in the orgy. What the hell is that!? It makes no sense, at least Zoolander 1 had some of realm of reality. The film tries to get consistently crazy and has no straight characters to balance the scenes. It’s just loopy stupid character meeting each other scene after scene. You know the characters are really dumb when Mugatu is the smartest person in the movie. That’s another thing I was confused about, Will Ferrell was doing some stupid high pitched voice and I really thought it detracted from his performance. I had no idea what he was trying to accomplish.
Look, the big issue with Zoolander 2 is that it’s nothing new. There’s a few good laughs (most of them were spoiled in the trailers) here and there but the entire time it’s half assed references to the first movie. The entire movie is centered around the first’s nostalgia. There’s no new memorable moments, no memorable lines, and the new characters are a bore. Don Atari wasn’t too bad but I couldn’t take an entire movie with his character. Penelope Cruz’s character was a joke too, a huge step-down from Matilda. Wait till you see how she can become a boat because of her big breasts. Yes this happened. Other directors have gotten away with having little jokes in their comedies as long as the story is good but the story in this is cringeworthy. It makes no sense, it’s way too loopy and gets stupider and stupider as the movie goes on. It’s as if the film makers thought that people loved Zoolander because it was stupid but that’s not the case. We loved that movie because of the lines, the clever satiric story, the crazy moments (dance battle, walk off, gasoline deaths) It was a fun crazy movie. Even the cameos in this movie suck except like 2. One thing I recalled, most of the jokes in this movie are juvenile potty humor. It’s as if this movie was made for 13 year olds.
It’d be wrong to compare Zoolander 2 to the first one but I felt it was better to compare it to Anchorman 2. I felt people hated that movie for the wrong reason but what Anchorman 2 did right was that it knew it couldn’t top the original movie so it created this new journey for Ron, it expanded the characters and world, it wasn’t predictable and it had a lot of great new lines. I felt like Anchorman 2 was a sequel done right. But Zoolander 2 tries so hard to make you laugh by trying to make you remember the first movie. Give me something new, give Derek a new arc. Like my favorite part of Zoolander 2 was the small time devoted to Derek Jr. Some of the biggest laughs in Anchorman 2 came from Walter & Ron’s interactions and Derek Jr.’s interactions with his father are pretty hilarious. All Zoolander 2 was, how stupid can we get? It’s as if the film makers tried to destroy the legacy of Zoolander. If you watch the climax of the movie, you’ll realize that’s when the film makers realized this movie was a shit storm so they did whatever they wanted. God it was a disaster. The script needed work, the jokes needed work and it needed to utilize it’s talented cast better. Mugatu as a villain again was pathetic and Kristin Wiig reduced to giving one liners? Why can’t the Frat Pack get back together and create something better. I kind of want a Zoolander 3 to fix the mistakes of this movie but sadly it’s very unlikely. It took forever to make this movie and with the bad reviews & terrible box office performance, I think Paramount is ready to seal the coffin. Here’s to hoping there’s an alternate cut of Zoolander 2 that’s clever and actually funny. You’re better off rewatching the first movie and it hurts because I think Ben Stiller is an incredible talent & capable of so much more.