Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice Thoughts (Or Rant)
Batman V Superman was one of the more anticipated movies of 2016. Some were curious to see if it would be worse than Man of Steel, or if it would be the movie DC needed to launch their Cinematic Universe. Unfortunately for DC, it turned out to be one of the worst superhero movies of all time. The big mistake DC made was keeping Zack Snyder on the helm. He clearly doesn’t understand the source material and is an incompetent director. He made an atrocious Superman film but managed to make something even worse. I apologize in advance about going into spoiler territory but honestly this movie is better spoiled than seen.
From the beginning of the movie there’s too much silliness. This version of Bruce’s parent’s death is stupid. They stood there and tried to fight a gunman unarmed and head on? And the gun caught onto the pearls? Did they make Joe Chill an expert marksman? Then Bruce Wayne falls into a bat cave for Bats to life him out. How can you expect people to take your movie seriously when you start pulling stupid nonsense like that? It reminded me on how emotional & powerful the origin parts were in Batman Begins, while this is trying to be cool and dark. The movie continues to drag with stupid scene after scene and it takes about an hour and 15 minutes for Batman or Superman to actually have a scene where they do something. Zack Snyder cannot direct drama and the first hour is full of bad dialogue and there seems to be no plot as well. Superman is crying about how the world hates him and Batman is angry because reasons. It’s unfair how people knock Ang Lee’s Hulk for the same reasons but some people are trying to defend this? I don’t think Ang Lee’s Hulk is great either but Batman v Superman is no better.
The movie meanders along with characters doing stupid decision after stupid decision. Like I previously said there’s no plot or well I guess there is plot but it’s super thin. Batman is suspicious that KGB Beast is working for Luthor and Superman is a cry baby and Mark Zuckerberg became the Joker. It’s hard to captivate viewers with a weak plot like that and Lois has some shitty plot too. So Amy Adams can have something to do. Superman is also blamed for a massacre that he obviously didn’t commit at all! Terrorists in a terroristic territory (Snyder thinks parts of Africa look like Afghanistan and there’s some stupid middle finger scene too) killed people and somehow Superman is to blame? I mean the US government is dumb but I didn’t think they were that dumb! All because some random lady is saying he did? Some random lady no one knows claims Superman is a bad guy and then she’s killed by being thrown in front of a subway car during rush hour. She would have, you know, maybe lived, if her dumbass stood behind the yellow line. At the same time, some senate building blows up with the same time with Superman in it and he’s blamed for it? Snyder is trying to mimic the craziness of The Dark Knight but in The Dark Knight, the scenes made sense. Then there’s Batman having visions where Superman is ruling the world with Darkseid’s henchmen. First of all, this makes no sense and why is Batman having these visions? Batman can see into the future now? Then you have the Flash pop out of nowhere warning Batman of Injustice 2. It’s like Snyder was trying to insert as many gritty else world stories he could but they don’t make sense. The only reason these things are happening is because again reasons.
Also the Lois Lane and Superman love story had no significance. Amy Adams and Henry Cavill have no chemistry and it feels underwritten because Snyder thought it’d be brilliant to get rid of the Clark Kent persona in Man of Steel. It’s a completely hollow romance. It has no impact on the plot or viewer. The plot being a mess is one thing but Snyder fails to understand what makes these characters great and every character is poorly characterized.
Lois Lane is already ruined due to Man of Steel and there’s nothing more to do with her but have her say she’s a journalist a zillion times. Superman is even worse than the first movie. Now that he’s supposed to be Superman, all he does is cry about how no one likes him. There’s some weird biblical imagery with him but it seems like this Superman is okay with destruction, carelessness, and killing bad guys. Also he can hear Lois scream from anywhere in the world. There is not a single scene where Superman is in action saving people, instead it’s a montage with CNN debating if he’s good or not. Give me a freaking break! At least Superman Returns took time to show Superman being, you know Superman, like that airplane scene? Worst of all Henry Cavill just flat out sucks. He has no energy, charisma and is too stiff. He tries too hard to be tough and can’t be genuine enough to play Clark.
As for Batman, I found this version to be one of the dumbest versions of Batman ever. At least Clooney Batman was funny. This Batman is an asshole. He flat out murders and tortures people, he’s even more reckless than Superman and he’s completely sloppy. He gets followed by 3 different people and is completely aloof to it. He’s okay using guns (don’t dare tell me that the vision scene gets a pass because it’s a dream, he’s still Batman at the end of the day!) There’s all these reasons being given that he’s grumpy and lived a tough life thus why he’s more dangerous but that’s bullshit. Batman has lived a shitty life in all forms of media and yet he stands strong. He has a code he refuses to cross and thus why he is called THE DARK KNIGHT. Apparently he’s taking nights off as Batman by bedding random women? What is he, Tony Stark all of a sudden? Also somehow everyone was oblivious to the fact Batman existed? UHM WTF!? Adding to that, the voice modulator sucks and it makes no sense with his mask gear and it sounds fake. No offense to Ben Affleck but this version of Batman flat out sucked and didn’t feel at all like the Batman I grew up loving. Adapting a character is one thing but taking a shit on him is another thing. I don’t blame Ben for his Batman, it was bad writing and bad direction. In contrast to Bale’s Batman, I felt something with Bale in the costume. I felt this was a man in pain and a life shrouded in darkness. This Batman is a cartoon.
The one thing Ben Affleck did do a shitty job with, was his Bruce Wayne. He’s too brooding to be Bruce and doesn’t capture Bruce’s playboyness at all. I didn’t get the dual personality Christian Bale pulled off so brilliantly. All I saw was Ben Affleck playing a brooding guy. I like Ben as an actor and person but he’s not right for the role. He was better as Daredevil. As for Wonder Woman and the Justice League, they are beyond unnecessary and add absolutely nothing to the plot. Those scenes only drag out an unnecessarily long movie.
The titular fight has no basis behind with it with these underdeveloped characters. Then you have Luthor apparently orchestrating the fight but him being evil makes no sense. Luthor is already written so well in the comics, there was no need to make him a crazy Joker/Riddler like character. Literally kidnapping Martha Kent was some Heath Ledger Joker shit. What makes Luthor scary is because he thinks he’s right in his own mind. Instead Luthor Zuckerberg, thinks he’s Loki and is working for Darkseid behind the scenes. Luthor isn’t a stooge! And the fight, goodness gracious, is the fight dumb! Superman says to Batman, hey let’s save my mom and Batman starts yelling at him and then Superman pushes him and boom, fight. Batman somehow has a sphere laying in the middle of building and tries to kill Superman with it and then become best friends because their moms share the same first name. So stupid. Them hating each other made no sense either. They both claimed each other were reckless vigilantes but its hypocritical bullshit. Then Luthor Zuckerberg continues to be a moron and releases Doomsday and you get this shitty CGI battle with Superman dying (EVEN THOUGH WE KNOW HE’S COMING BACK) It’s a completely unearned death that makes viewers feel nothing. That mostly because the characterizations sucked. How can we feel anything for characters that make us feel nothing?
I apologize for making this review super long but I can assure it’s shorter than this piece of shit. Batman V Superman might have a lot of money put into it but it’s money wasted. The characterizations of the characters are completely off and worse than their counterparts. The acting is shit, the dialogue is shit and the plot makes no sense. Batman V Superman tries to be an epic movie but it’s only pretentious egoism that they thought this movie merited 3 hours. It’s glum for no reason and everyone is sad again for no reason. It tries too hard and at the end it only comes off as a waste of time. It all comes down to hiring that idiot Zack Snyder to take over this franchise and yet DC continues to keep him on board when he’s made 2 shitty films in a row. I refuse to watch any more DC films until the quality improves and I have to say Batman V Superman is one of the worst superhero movies of all time and one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Just go watch Game of Thrones if you want something of epic quality.